Responsible money management and investing is often reserved for the already-wealthy. I refuse to believe that my lot in life currently has to be my forever lot in life, upward mobility is the American Dream after all and I want a piece of that. Living my life without a partner was always my greatest fear but I’m now seeing what an opportunity this is to individuate, earn some money, allow that money to earn more money, and create the kind of life I want to live.
I always wanted exposed brick in my home – my husband said that was unrealistic and messy.
I always wanted a dog – my husband told me it was too much work for me.
I wanted to live in an area where I could walk to the train or bus, walk to bars or restaurants, share the sidewalk with people who look different from me – my husband wanted to stay in the suburbs.
Our break-up has opened up an entire world to me that I can’t wait to explore. And my first order of business is earning and growing the funds I’ll need to live this way. This will also mean simplifying some of the extravagancies my husband and I used: no more home cleaners, no more landscapers, no more SoulCycle membership, no more having purified water delivered. These were never things I wanted, I was just less vocal about what I didn’t want for the duration of our marriage.
As a woman, I learned to never say what I wanted until I got something and then convincing myself that it’s what I wanted. Fuck that. I’m gonna learn what I want and what I need to do to get it.